Gay atheists have it good

I personally think I would have been happier if I were gay. Allow me to explain: atheists are significantly more likely to be men, and gays are significantly more likely to be atheists. Therefore I believe it would be easier to find people I agree with if I were gay.

I could have moved to San Francisco, removed myself from talking to prejudiced people on a day to day basis, and been fairly happy chewing the fat with progressives on weekends in the closest place to a modern Athens. Like Robert Barone mused at the end of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond: “Gays seem so happy. It’s a shame I’m not gay.” (Well actually Robert, lgbt suicide rates are higher, although I think that as an rational atheist I would have found more people to make me happy.)

Furthermore, gays are generally praised by the younger generation when they stand up for anything. There are many gays in the creative fields such as Hollywood, or in literature, and there are many philosophers,  and famous scientists who are gay, or trans. For instance: the ancient Greeks, Leonardo Da Vinci, Alan Turning, and a good deal of introverted lgbt video game makers/programmers.

When you look at how many gay geniuses there are, I have a theory that gays/trans tend to be smarter than men. My theory is that since men have larger brains than women, but gay/trans brains have been shown to be more interconnected like that of a woman, gays get especially interconnected large brains that are better at finding insights than the straight brains of either men or females. (Unfortunately, since lesbians have smaller brains with less cross-hemisphere connections, I think they tend to be stupider than average. Sorry, but if it’s any consolation lesbians face weaker prejudice or hatred than gays, in my view although I haven’t proved it yet. Lesbians are definitely more fetishized and actually get favorable coverage in action flicks. See: Xena, Charlie’s Angels, Charmed, or Ghost in the Shell, and I don’t think guys dislike having them around, and if they disrespect them, they aren’t grossed out and overly homophobic the way they can be  around gay men.)

To sum up the benefits of being gay, I would…

  1. be more likely to become a recognized genius
  2. be more likely to partner with a genius
  3. be more likely to turn atheist early
  4. be more likely to affiliate with atheists within my gay community
  5. have a built-in socially acceptable cause to fight for and defend

I personally believe gays are more open-minded despite growing evidence to the contrary. Yes, they can be hate-filled, and even violent at gay parades, but the severity of crime is always relative: there is a difference between punching up and punching down. (I.e. there’s a difference between starting violence, and reacting to a lifetime of threats of violence by becoming violent.) Gays can also be intolerant of free-speech that harms their sensibilities, or which they consider hateful– and I don’t agree with their political correctness.  Nevertheless, compared to normal people (or just women) I think the fact so many of them have left religion shows they are more open-minded and willing to falsify their beliefs, which is what I expect from any partner who I expect to be my intellectual equal.


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