Apathetic God Roleplay

I tried to imagine a scenario where the gods stopped giving a fuck about humans. It was easier when I worked from a comic book universe. Thought I might share what I came up with, since it make deism sound like credible behavior for any hiding gods in our universe.

spiderman is fat


“I’m not ‘a god,’ Spider-man told himself. “Therefore I don’t have to play “God.” I’d rather do what I can do for others as an ordinary human, and let humans sort out their own problems.”

Spider-man realized he couldn’t quit working while there were still ‘devils’ meddling with society. So he convinced the other super villains and heroes in his city to quit and go into hiding. (They all moved to Mt. Olympus to party for thousands of years with other retired superheroes like Zeus Apollo, thereby removing all higher powers from the Earth.)

Sometimes when Spider-man felt the urge to do something constructive for humanity, he would come down from the mountain to work at food shelters and charities the way normal humans would. But he avoided using his powers because he didn’t want the stress of always being sought to answer “prayers.” He felt sorry for Batman who had given Gotham’s police department a way to call him, and who was always on call. It’s not like the police department should need batman to do all the work. If people wanted less crime, they could vote for a better police force. Gotham had became seriously entitled, just like metropolis under Superman.

“Even if we’re gods, we shouldn’t be forced to try harder than humans,” Peter Parker thought.

spiderman great power comes

“My uncle was wrong about one thing. I don’t need a savior complex, and neither does the world. ‘With great power comes great responsibility,’ would enslave any god forever.

It should instead be, ‘With great power comes the responsibility to do no more harm than anyone else.'”

Peter Parker dozed off in a hammock made of spider silk. As long as no one else was seriously meddling with the world, there was no need for “Spider-man” to come and fix everything when the ‘Peter Parkers’ were doing a good enough job.



Note that this doesn’t work for Christianity, only certain forms of Deism. If Spider-man killed the Green Goblin or Doc Ock, there would still be criminals in the world, but if God snapped his fingers and killed Satan half our problems would be gone. Plus Spider-man didn’t cause our problems, while God actually created our corruptible world.


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