Boyfriends should feel insecure around “God”

A.k.a. that nagging feeling of inadequacy before God

Consider the consequences of if enough people really believed in the flying spaghetti monster to make it a real religion. Can you imagine how bent up and insecure men would get when their gf confessed to having a tentacle fetish?

tentacle envy

“Sorry honey, I love you but if god would take me, I’d rather be fucked by his superior body.”

…which is how Jesus was conceived. You know Jesus and Mary imagery can be very sexual too. Jesus sculptures especially tend to be half naked as he writhes on the cross. I wonder how often chaste priests have intrusive thoughts while cleaning it, or the “virgin Mary” statue. Certainly in a pagan religion there would be nothing preventing you from fantasizing about having sex with Apollo or Aphrodite. Who is to say that there still isn’t an element of that desire, embedded deep in the consciousness of Christians when they pray to their eternal soul mate & master in heaven? Lucifer is practically a sex symbol in movies too.


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