Jesus: King of the Zombies

Jesus_supper_zombie What the Last Supper could have looked like

I just can’t get enough of how people are willing to believe there were potentially hundreds or thousands of resurrected zombies walking around Jerusalem and meeting people when Jesus died. And yet, no one wrote about it, and most Jews remained convinced after all of that that Jesus could not have been resurrected.

Matthew 27:52 is the greatest story never told

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessindixie/2015/03/29/the-greatest-story-never-told/

Apparently Jesus’s resurrection was a rather boring and common event at the time, given there were all these dead people walking up and down the streets. Although I discredit it ever happening, it still makes me if one of those other resurrected people was the real messiah.

Matthew 27:52 recap:

  • When Jesus died darkness covers the land, there is an earthquake, and the saints are resurrected and walk the streets of Jerusalem. Apparently Jesus’s resurrection was a boring routine event in those days.
  • No one talks about any of these 3 miracles except in the book of Mathew

Apparently Jesus’s resurrection was a rather boring and common event at the time, given there were all these dead people walking up and down the streets. Although I discredit it ever happening, it still makes me if one of those other resurrected people was the real messiah.

What can I possibly say to make Matthew 27:52 funnier? I’ll leave Thomas Paine to speak for me.

“It is an easy thing to tell a lie, but it is difficult to support the lie after it is told. The writer of the book of Matthew should have told us who the saints were that came to life again, and went into the city, and what became of them afterward, and who it was that saw them — for he is not hardy enough to say he saw them himself; whether they came out naked, and all in natural buff, he-saints and she-saints; or whether they came full dressed, and where they got their dresses; whether they went to their former habitations, and reclaimed their wives, their husbands, and their property, and how they were received; whether they entered ejectments for the recovery of their possessions, or brought actions of crim. con. against the rival interlopers; whether they remained on earth, and followed their former occupation of preaching or working; or whether they died again, or went back to their graves alive, and buried themselves.”

Part II section 15 Age of Reason by Thomas Paine

http://www.ushistory.org/paine/reason/singlehtml.htm

– Part II section 15 from Thomas Pain’s Age of Reason. (He was persecuted for writing this in the USA 200 years ago, and his book was banned from publication. Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson both read and supported it. He could not publish part III because he was so loathed, and the Great Awakening movement had shifted America from a secular elite towards being more religious.)

More Links:

It’s funny how Christians ignore this passage in the bible. It’s could be the best story in the bible.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessindixie/2015/03/29/the-greatest-story-never-told/

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/excommunications/2015/04/god-raised-zombies-from-the-dead/

http://exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com/reply/251269/Re-Zombies-Matthew-275153-Request-For-Help#.VdblBpfyXHY

Memes:

zombies-in-the-bibleOccam’s razor, Occam’s razor! A Christian can keep handwaving glaring errors in the bible like this, but they eventually add up and cast tremendous doubt on the whole!

I’m going to start calling Easter Sunday, Zombie Jesus Day.

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