memento mori

I got an idea of what I want on my tombstone when I saw this esoteric lawn ornmanet in a public botanic garden and no angel statues or crosses. I visited a graveyard today and saw nothing obviously secular. But I did see Catholics wasting time repeating a prayer a dead guy about a hundred times, and it irritates me that when I die people will be wasting time at my grave doing superstisious rituals that Ren’t even biblically supported, rather than moving on and making better use of their life.
(My family visit the $20,000 grave of their grandmother at least every other week, and usually weekly. I’ve told my parents I want to be cremated and thrown in the ocean for less than a thousand, but they told me they already bought me a freaking grave by the family so I’ll be stuck with them forever. I hope I can outlive them, inherit, and sell my plot.)
Most of the other graves say things like “Beloved mother and wife.” “Cherished teacher who loved his country and family. We’ll miss you always Papa…”

And below that they usually have biblical references engraved, like “Walking with Jesus”, “Akoy Ingelsia ni Cristo,” or “Lo, I’m with you alway…” (They ran out of space for the “s” because thery had to cram a picture of Jesus in there. The funny part is multiple graves have the same misspelled engraving, implying that the family didn’t care enough to pay extra to engrave something original now that he was dead.)

I haven’t worked out what I’d want written on my grave, but I hope to find ideas in the graves of the 4 horsemen of the non-apocalypse. I’d want some kind of fuck you to the religious people my body would forced to be neighbors with, something like, “Detestable hell-bound asshole won’t be seeing you again.” And if there’s space the famous marcus aurelius misattribuation beneath that.


For the icon, I’d want the FLying Spaghetti Monster, and possibly a swastika for good measure.

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