It’s Official: Pope Francis says ‘All animals go to heaven’

The Catholic missionary from the last post can rest easy, because the pope has said her dog will be waiting at her door in the New Jerusalem.  Religion keeps changing the official teachings to cater to the feelings of people. Like a salesman searching for a better pitch, the pope found he can now give happier answers to questions about animals like, “Why did Peanuts have to die?”

The feel-good answer is “Your dog didn’t die and you will see him again in heaven.”  It’s a safe position to take, when 42 percent of Americans believe they will see their pets in heaven.

Most people would rather go to church and swallow up the placebos rather than to face the truth: that there is no evidence of life after death apart from the memories you leave behind in the people that knew you. In a grand scheme where planets and creatures are constantly randomly destroyed, it’s silly to think an entity cares about protecting individuals for eternity.


Of course if you tell Christians this they get angry. If only I had figured out what Morpheus meant earlier.


News source:”

Correction: Pope Francais didn’t say anything about animals going to heaven. That was another pope, but as long as one of the recent popes said it then there will be Catholics who can choose to believe it, so it doesn’t matter that the current pope has been quiet on the subject of animal souls.


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