hell must have amazing biodiversity

Sam Harris is right that Tibetan Buddhists don’t blow themselves up, or drive trucks into crowds and then jump out and go on a stabbing spree like certain Chinese Muslims. However the monks have lit themselves on fire many times in sign of protest; they simply don’t kill others while they do it. There have also been Buddhist warrior monks in Japanese history.
I want to see what religions exist in those 100 billion other galaxies. If I lived in the future I’d laugh so hard at how ethnocentric, chronocentric, and geocentric it is to believe God’s only son in the whole fucking universe came to Earth alone. Then trillions of aliens were condemned to hell for billions of years until humans made contact with them, to show them the error of their ways with our more accurate religion developed by ancient desert peoples.
Of course, it will take at least millions or billions of years for humans to spread the gospels to every corner of these 100 billion galaxies. God might be impatient and bring Revelation to bear before that, and then all the stars will “rain from the sky and go dark”, meaning entire solar systems will probably never get to hear God’s word. The inhabitants of these worlds who feel the physics of the universe thrown apart due to our ancient prophecy, will wonder what the fuck is wrong with the universe when they wake up to be judged by a God they never heard of from the desert of Caanan, on a star they probably hadn’t even catalogued yet.
Speaking of other species dying, I met a Catholic missionary who thinks her dog will meet her in heaven.

How does that work? So dogs judged too? Do only the dogs with Christian masters go to heaven? And is hell filled with disobedient wiener dogs, and pitbulls that barked too many times, or mauled too many squirrels? Are there trees and bacteria in hell? Do they store have all non-sentinent life there too?
So I guess hell has forests and tons of ancient bacteria and viruses just piled ontop of each other, because nothing ever truly dies, it’s just sent to hell. The grime covers the trees, and wherever you walk in hell, you step upon tons of quivering bacteria, just stacked ontop of each other. There’s probably even an ocean in hell to contain all the plankton and seaweed, because Satan doesn’t like there to be too much green in a fiery abyss. It must be a fucking biosphere down there, with dinoasurs and giant beavers, and pteradactyls. Unlimited deer….this is starting to sound like Eden. I bet the bacteria and viruses couldn’t even hurt you if you’re already dead.

Hell is gonna be lush as fuck. Tell Christians not to be sad for you, because you are going to a better place. Tell them you’ll weep for them because heaven will probably be a sterile place full of artificial materials like ugly concrete, plastic and asphalt – wherever God ran out of the gold he promised. It will be a super over-crowded too, because God forgot about the righteous alien converts when he was preparing it. Cities in hell are gonna be gardens, and surrounded by miles of corn, and the caverns will look like this. I want to believe in hell again, so I can spend my after-life fishing in the company of good and intelligent people.


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