Prosperity Gospel, Talking Snakes in Eden, and Noah’s Arc was Smaller than an Aircraft Carrier – Letter

The last sermon I heard contained the Prosperity Gospel theme. Namely, if you give to God, God will reward you financially. The idea is that God will always provide money and so forth if you tithe, so don’t worry. Tithe more. He clumsily tried to mask it, but that was what his sermon was about.

But he is justified for Jesus regularly told  people to sell everything they own and follow him, which is why we would call it a cult today.  In fact, there is a passage in the bible where a woman sells her house and gives most of the money to Paul for his ministry. However she keeps a little. Paul asks if she gave all of it. She says yes, and Paul calls her a liar and calls upon God to give her divine punishment and then her and her husband are struck dead by God and “Everyone was Afraid.” Better give all your money to Paul or he will call God to punish you. (Acts 5 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+5 )
 On an unrelated note rich Enterpreneur Andrew Carnegie was Agnostic as are the three richest men right now. God has blessed Bill Gates and Warren Buffet; the most famous philanthrophists are Atheists go figure. (Although Bill Gates does have a Catholic wife and now goes to church, he has said he could make more Productive use of a Sunday. The community aspect of church does appeal to a lot of older people and lukewarm Christians. It also keeps Christians from being wildly paranoid and judgemental about them, as expressed in the video “The Secret Lives of Atheists.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbfFAYn8bgc )

By the way I read this thread today where a guy broke up with his girlfriend because they were in a Christian cult that taught the Prosperity Gospel and he wanted out, and the church said they had to prioritize God over each other, so she broke up with him. (He was asking too many questions, and the experience and resulting research as he tried to find the “true church” led to him becoming an Atheist.)
I also found out the ten commandments were predated by some similiar, but superior Egyptian commandments by two thousand years.  (The first four commandments are about praising God.  Egyptian commandments: https://xenophilius.wordpress.com/2008/03/11/42-principles-of-maat-2000-years-before-ten-commandments/ )
Someone also again pointed out today that long ago Jews probably worshipped the Gods of the bible who were later recast as devils. Someone suggested one of them was Satan, and that because Satan simply means an adversary in Hebrew and is not a propper noun. The Satan in the book of Job might even be a different devil or adversary than the one talked about in the New Testament.
Furthermore the talking snake in Eden (seriously how do Christians believe that existed, or in talking donkeys?), was probably some pre-existing God rather than ‘Satan in disguise’ as Christians believe. God curses him to crawl on his belly which makes you wonder how snakes moved before that, and why they don’t talk nowadays. Either way, a curious talking snake would make a hell of a pet. You could play checkers with it unlike with a useless cat that just lies around soaking up the sun, and you probably convince it to teach your kids. And it wanted humans to become wiser and know the difference between right and wrong, which looks quite noble.
The passage about not eating from the tree of knowledge is probably a metaphor. Don’t question your priests too much, and don’t try to learn too much, or you will be punished. Of course it was also propraganda for showing women are more susceptible than men. (Weird how women are the ones who tend to flock towards new cults and religions, including Christianity in Jesus’s time or during the Great Awakening in America. That’s one more perk of starting your own cult – history shows you are more likely to attract a majority of women who are susceptable to following your authority; by the time they breed undesirable boys into the cult you’ll be dead so who cares.)
What’s interesting is that if Adam and Eve had obeyed God the entire story could not have started. Everyone would still be in the garden of Eden, fucking like rabbits to become “fruitful and multiply” and no one would die until the garden was overcrowded and people had to walk on top of each other. God could have put the tree of knowledge far away and guarded it, but he put it in the center of the garden, at ground level, and let a sky talking snake sit beside it. Not a great plan for protecting something so dangerous.
A little after that the Earth is so tainted by sin he decides to flood it. This is like burning down your house to get rid of a mice problem. Lately I’ve thought that the animals would starve to death after coming off the boat since everything was dead. Scientists have also pointed out there are millions of species and Noah’s ark was much smaller than an aircraft carrier so there’s no way they could have all fit inside. Furthermore Noah had to gather millions of them, feed them, and ensure they didn’t fight for a month. Christians would say maybe God  took care of that.
However, at the same time God required Noah to gather the wood in a part of the world not known for having many trees, to build a huge cypress boat and make it sea worthy and leak-proof with ancient technology. he would have literally deforested the much of the Mediterranean and then had to haul all the timber to one spot. That is a lot of work and it makes you wonder why God didn’t just build his own boat, and why Noah was required at all. Someone also pointed out that if the sea level rose above Mt Everest to cover the whole Earth, then atmosphere would become so thin you would suffocate, and you would also freeze to death.
Hail Satan ★
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s